Feature not a Bug: Making Workplace Conflict Work

There are a lot of words people use to say that everybody is getting along. “Cohesive team,” “in alignment,” “unified front,” and everybody’s favorite “synergy.” All of these are used to suggest peace, love, and unity. But here’s a truth that’s going to be uncomfortable for some people: a business ain’t Woodstock and it doesn’t run on agreement. I’d argue the opposite – that any good business runs on healthy conflict. 

Conflict, contrary to popular belief, is not the enemy. In fact it’s the key ingredient for the kind of innovation and collaboration that can only be born of a little drama.

Why, you ask? Let me give you some examples:

Creativity Needs Conflict: Ever heard the phrase “two heads are better than one”? Well, imagine what happens when you have a whole room (or zoom meeting) full of heads – but they’re all nodding in agreement. I’ll give you a hint. What happens is…nothing. Conflict shakes things up, sparks debate, and ultimately leads to those “a-ha” moments that spark true innovation and break you out of the status quo.

It’s a Reality Check: I mean, obviously we’re all brilliant and amazing humans. But we have different talents, perspectives, personalities, and pet peeves (I’m looking at you, Captain reply-all-to-everything). Conflict shines a spotlight on the areas where we clash, giving us a chance to address them head-on instead of shoving them out of sight where they’ll only fester and come back at the least opportune times.

Conflict Builds Character: Sure, conflict can be uncomfortable for most of us. But like most uncomfortable things, it helps us grow. It forces us to step outside our comfort zones, practice empathy, and sharpen our communication skills—all essential tools for navigating work. And life.

I hear you. You’re saying (maybe in your head but also possibly out loud to yourself – which is fine, but you probably want to know which one you’re doing) “I get it, but how do you DO conflict in a productive way that doesn’t lead to confusion and delay?” (h/t to Thomas the Tank Engine – IYKYK) Here are a few ideas to help get you there:

Create a Safe Space: Encourage open communication and assure your team that it’s okay to disagree (politely, of course). Remember, disagreeing with someone’s idea doesn’t equate to invalidating them as a person or as a competent professional.

Lead by Example: Especially if you’re in any kind of leadership role, but you don’t have to be the boss to model this behavior. Show people how it’s done by listening, offering up well thought-out counterpoints, compromising, and maybe even cracking a joke or two to keep the mood light.

Ask for Conflict: If you’re offering up an idea or a solution, don’t act like it’s the only solution. Encourage – and literally ask for – comments, different perspectives, and people’s thoughts on where there might be holes in your idea, and watch your meetings turn from “coulda been an email” to lightning rods for creativity and collaboration.

Learn from the Drama: Treat every conflict as a learning opportunity (even especially the ones that have you questioning yourself). Take notes and conduct a retrospective with yourself after each conflict event, looking for ways you can improve your relationship and comfort level with disagreement, and ultimately make it even more productive next time.

Adopt Conflict as a Core Competency: There are literally books written about this topic that will give you a lot more context and actionable tactics than this post, and there are countless approaches to building a shared language and technique around conflict. Google it, find some things you like, and if you’re feeling bold go ahead and recommend a company-wide training in conflict-competency for your company. 

Conflict is necessary, and inevitable. You can choose to avoid it and ignore it, or embrace it, learn from it, and make it one of the most valuable tools in your toolbelt. I recommend the latter. 

But feel free to disagree. 

Seriously, disagree. I live for this stuff. The comment section is open.